I think I might just die of laughter. As I munched on food like a stoner while watching a Lord of the Rings Marathon on TNT yesterday, I saw the most hilarious commercial.



I want a pygmy giraffe. And I really can't top that so I'm just going to get on with my letters.


Dear Woman in the Bathroom- I have found that checking for feet under the stall door is a solid and efficient way of checking for occupancy. I less than enjoyed our eye contact through the crack of the stall door.

Dear Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans- you are my only exception to my training diet. Antioxidants... that's my justification.

Dear Beige Strapless Dress- I've been wondering why when I wear you, people tend to look at me when I drive. Then I realized it probably looks like I'm naked.

Dear Broken Sunglasses- I'm really not that upset about you. Love em' Break em' Buy new ones.

Dear Feet- you think you hate me now, but you are in for a much worse hell than you think. 3 months till the half marathon and 200 training miles to go

Dear Guys- I don't expect you to understand or be able to appreciate what I'm about to say.

Dear Strapless Bra- I can literally feel my chest gasping for air when I take you off.

Dear 7AM Runners- I'd be lying if I said I didn't get just a little bit of enjoyment out of knowing I did same thing as you, just 2 hours ago. Call me cocky.

Dear Future Son- I apologize for your childhood ridicule in advance, but I have decided to name you Basil. And it will be your first name, not your middle name.

Dear Bachelorette "Slumber Party"- who knew the word lube could cause such giggle fits. You might be my first and last "Slumber Party".

Dear Jimmy Johns, Taco Bell, Gatorade, Granola Bar, Twizzlers, and Chocolate Coffee Beans- who knew you could mix so well together? You really don't.


LoveAlways,
Gnarleigh

Missed Ya

It's been a while since I last blogged- obviously. Last you heard from me, the Queen of England was feeling me up in my dreams and I finally decided that's not how I would like you to remember me.

For this first returning blog post I do not have letters for you all. I started this blog wondering, "Do I have the consistency in me to keep up a blog every week?" Obviously that didn't really happen. I was pretty disappointed coming back to Blogger and thinking, something as simple as writing a blog shouldn't be a problem. So, I'm back and ready to prove my endurance. Hopefully.

So let's update. I read some of my old letters, and thought I would share how I'm fairing with them.

Dear Buck Teef: You make it really difficult to drink red wine properly
I still have issues with this. Nothing's changed.

Dear Me: Quit looking at your own profile pictures. You know what you look like.
Haha I guess we are all vain in our own ways? HOWEVER- I have chopped all my hair off since my last post, so even I forget what I look like sometimes.

Dear Lovehandles- So about half of my ab exercises are actually prone to increase you in size. NO FRIGGIN WONDER YOU WEREN'T GOING AWAY!
I have hence stopped doing exercises that make my love handles more lovable, however they are still a part of my life. I've been working out for almost 7 months now and they just love me too much. So I, in turn, have learned to love them back. I've gained a healthy life style, and that's all I can ask for.


Dear letter that I wrote but never sent- you were the most therapeutic part of my day. I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to send you to whom you were intended for.
I sent that letter about a month and a half ago. I know this was an incredibly ambiguous/emo post, but the situation this letter pertains to weighed heavily on my heart and on my life. It was a tough thing to send that letter, but I am a better person for it. I am a stronger person for it.


I don't want to think that you all have been suffering DearBlog withdrawals- I'm not that egotistical. But I have missed having an outlet for my thoughts. And just like I said from the beginning- This blog is to appreciate the simple, small things.

DearBlog BACK.

Love Always,
Gnarleigh