How the Queen of England scarred me for life.

If you are familiar with www.homestarrunner.com and strong bad e-mails, I suggest you read the preface to my letters in a strong bad voice.

*Stretch**Yawn* man-o-man don't we all wish Spring Break lasted forever. I'm still not fully recooperated from my week of festivities nor have I come to terms with the fact that it's over. Alas- Dear Blog is officially back on the clock.

Does anybody out there suck at long term goals (as I raise both my hands and nose as high as I can)? BECAUSE I DO. I have a very binge-like personality: love it, leave it, move on.With that said it is becoming very hard to continue working out. I am soooo tired and I still can't believe I'm still working out after 3 whole months. Don't judge, but that's almost equivalent to my longest relationship. So as I sit here eating the ice cream bar my coworker just brought me I can't help but wonder what I can do to make this workout thing a lifestyle as opposed to a hassle. If you have any tips please let me know, because thus far I am building long-term goal endurance by running and blogging. I don't know how long that will last.

ONWARD! These are my letter from the week of March 21ish to the 28th.


Dear Seat in my Comm Class- you have been very rudely usurped by the lady in class that asks way too many questions. I'm showing up early next week to take you back.

Dear Indian Food place on campus- YOU TOTALLY JIPPED ME ON THE RICE :(

Dear Ditch on the highway- I got to tell many people about the time we spent together on my way home from KC.

Dear new cardigan- I'm sorry for throwing you in the dryer although you say to lye flat to dry. I was in a hurry, but now you have those little fabric balls all bunched up.

Dear Dreams- It would be cool if I never dreamed that the Queen of England copped a feel ON PURPOSE ever again. She has officially become the new "dead puppies" for me.

Dear Tweet I received about a teacher discussing sexting in class- Queen of England Queen of England Queen of England

Dear Jog by the river- as scenic and relaxing you are, there are 2 things that would make you better. Having my Itouch back, and a dog. Mom, can I have a puppy?

Dear Chipotle- What the heck is it with the rice jipping this week? Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I'm not HUNGRY! Pile it on!

Dear Apple Juice- There's nothing better than thinking I've already finished you, and then looking at you and seeing one big swig left. YAY!

Dear Big Blue Cello Case- You are almost as bad as having a huge ass when I try and squeeze between cars in the parking lot.

Dear Itouch Napper- Frick. I was so excited to get my Itouch back for running but no you had to keep the clip that attaches it to my arm band. Bitch move.

Dear Facbook Minions- I know I know- you want to talk to me, but when I leave my computer for a 5 minutes to brush my teeth and 5 of you want talk at the same time I just can't process.

Dear parents teaching their kid how to ride a bike- maybe it would be better to teach him how to ride bike further away from the river...

Dear Readers with virgin ears- I apologize for the expletives in this blog. I normally don't curse that much? I guess my quartet would disagree with that...


LoveAlways,
Gnarleigh


PS- Watch out for this saucy Minx.

Spring Break is for Bloggers.

I forgot to put up my blog yesterday. I normally put it up on my lunch break between classes, but it was a funny thing, Monday- I DIDN'T HAVE CLASS! Thus the memory slip. AND I hope you aren't terribly disappointed, but since I gave you a bonus blog this past week, I will be fully taking advantage of Spring Break and not doing anything- including blogging. Miss Kate Garnes and I will be trucking up to Columbia, then to Kansas City, and I intend on blowing all of my money and then writing about it once my checkbook bounces back to a healthy state. I love and will miss you all dearly but there is an abundance of letters here for you today.

Before I go too far I do want to say this. Here is an excerpt from my very first post that explains why I write this blog:

"I realized recently that lots of small things happen during a day. They can make us smile, make us mad, or make us laugh, but most of the time we forget about them within a day or so. Compliments, jokes, new acquaintances, shoes we can't afford... Out of sight of mind."

Writing this blog has been so great, because I really do forget about most of the little things that happen during my week. When I go back and reread them it's almost as if I'm reading someone else's doing. So blog, you have officially deemed yourself useful. ONWARD!


Dear Blog- the more I blog the more I feel like I'm back in 9th grade using Xanga. It's a terrible thought but oh well.

Dear Facebook Messages- I think you have 2 uses: 1. Some things are just too long to post on a wall, or 2. Some one is trying to be vewy sneaky.

Dear Quandry- Someone just used you in a sentence. Luckily it was on FB chat and I had time to look you up on dictionary.com- apparently you are spelled "Quandary", and you mean a state of perplexity and uncertainty. How ironic...

Dear Rain- gaaaaaaaaaah JUST STOP ALREADY.

Dear Wichita City Court- I can't believe you had me outta there in less than 10 minutes! Maybe you aren't so bad :)

Dear Brett Michaels- Please tell me that your performance at the Riverfest this year will end up in a "Rock of Love VIII" Kansas special. PLEEEEASE!!!!

Dear "Gardener" Sandwich at Dolci & Joes- I know I just ate one of you last night, but I Lady Antebellum need you again. BADLY.

Dear Guy in the Five Iron Frenzy hoody- Yeah, you know where it's at.

Dear Wichita City Court- I just remembered that I still had to pay you $195 for my diversion. You are back on my shit list.

Dear Whole Milk- I don't care how fatty you are. YOU are so good.

Dear Gym Shower Curtain- I don't like it when you brush up against me. Bugh.

Dear People Watchers- You want some fun people to watch? Come to my gym in the morning when a bunch of grown men come and pretend that they're good at basketball. It's AWESOME.

Dear Asian Friend- when you told me to pick a pretty white woman for you, I didn't know you were actually going to go talk to her. And grab her hand. She didn't look very pleased.

Dear Water Bottle I just finished- hmmm, you aren't the same brand that I walked into the gym with- I hope your true owner doesn't have cold sores.

Dear Business Law Professor- As your anonymous dry erase marker fairy, it makes me laugh that you didn't open your new markers, instead you pocketed them for your own personal use.

Dear Quiche at Café Moderne- you are a party in my mouth and no one else is invited.

Dear Carl Kasell- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN WICHITA! I'd go and see you over Brett Michaels any day. Maybe you could have a show! Kasell of looooove....

Dear FB Relationship Status- I'm thinking about taking you down. I am still single, however I'm starting to feel ridiculed by the facebook ads asking me if I want a boyfriend.

Dear Boys on the sidewalk dressed in drag with signs that say SINGLE- Try this again in your 20s and let me know how it goes

Dear Guy who works at Gym- I don't recall ever telling you my name, but today you said, "Hello Arleigh". Hmmmmmm

Dear Bath Towel- You are too much of a pain to keep up while I'm drying my hair, so I'm just going to lock the door and let you fall.

Dear Mom- you RECORDED Hannah Montana? And didn't even try and pawn it off as a favor to your grandchild? Oh dear.


Love Always,
Gnarleigh

Running- The Bonus Blog

This week you get an extra blog-Woo! I have compiled a few songs that are good for.... EXERCISE! I am going on 2 months of keeping my New Year's work out resolution- again, Woo! Like many people, I work out by myself. It can be difficult to motivate yourself and keep going! And- not gonna lie- sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing. I mosey aimlessly around until I see someone doing an exercise or a machine that seems doable. Then I wait until they aren't looking to do it. Tangent? Anyway my point is that music is a great motivator. Music with a strong beat helps keep repetitions up to speed, and they provide the emotional adrenaline that I personally can't muster up at 5:30AM. Yeah, I know not everybody is stupid like me to work out in the morning.

This post will be for good running music, but I want to make 2 points before you read these:

1. Just because you like a song, doesn't mean it's good exercise music. I have deleted many great artists from my work out playlists even though it seems blasphemous- they just didn't do it for me.

2. I understand that just because it's good for me doesn't mean it works for you. You may be faster/slower than me and some of these might not work. Some of you like to work out to country- and that will just never be allowed on my playlist.


With that said.

Dear Incredibly Bluesy White Guy-

Song: "Walking in the Sun"
Artist: Fink
Best for: Warm up stretches

I first heard Fink on World Cafe on 89.1. I was in kind of a numb state and Fink just happened to be the guest on the show- They played the album title song "Sort of Revolution"- his raspy, calm voice was so intriguing. I looked him up on Itunes and found "Walking in the Sun". Very Chill, very cool, smooth, perfect for when you are getting your breathing and body aligned for your work out.


Dear much better alternative to listening to techno on my run-

Song: "The Nerve"
Song: "Electrify"
Artist: Mute Math
Best for: "The Nerve" is great for the beginning of your run, and "Electrify" is a good pace keeper

I'm a new fan of Mute Math- I would recommend this entire album, but I kept it to 2 songs. "The Nerve" has a continuous underlying rhythm that makes it easy to keep going forward- I can't always keep up with it but it pushes me to try. "Electrify" has great pace, but I especially like it because It's all about a guy in pursuit of a girl- he's not necessarily crude about it but he definitely lets his intentions be known. Now don't go judging and call me a hussy. Every girl likes to be pursued.


Dear Naked Men-

Song: Gobbledigook
Artist: Sigur Rós
Best for: Relaxed runs- you've been pushing yourself really hard and now you just want to coast.

The album cover reminds me of a naked dream I had where I was running- naked- and a little boy with his parents saw me and yelled out "COOL!"... anyway, I bought "Gobbledigook" on a whim when I was hanging out at a coffee shop with my friend Kerry. It came on the speakers and he said that he loved the song- I really loved it too. It's great for a more relaxed run- for you music buffs out there it has a hemiola, and when you run with the 6/8 instead of the 3/4 time it makes for a good pace. PS- Unlike these guys, I run with my clothes on and suggest the same for you.


Dear Woman. Barfing Glitter-

Song: "Creator"
Artist: Santigold
Best For: When you are running out of juice and need something a little Animalistic to keep you going.

"Creator" probably sounds a little weird to a lotta people at first listen- The context in which I first saw it was on So You Think You Can Dance where one woman was dressed in tin foil as an alien and the the guy was the last living human, and she was trying to impregnate him. AWESOME. Out of context this is def. an out there song, but it kicks this drag-ass into gear for her morning run.


Dear Song that I have NO CLUE what they're saying-

Song: "Dola Re Dola"
Artist: Kavita Krishnamurthy
Best for: That final push at the end of your run- very dramatic ending.

I LOVE RUNNING TO CULTURAL MUSIC. period. One day I literally sat on Itunes for about 3 hours and downloaded nothing but music from other cultures- This one happens to be Bollywood and it is one of my FAVORITES. It's from a film called Devdas that I have yet to watch. The tempo is too fast for me to keep up with, but it's okay to set a pace that's not quite acheivable yet. GOALS PEOPLE.


Dear I don't want to hear any flack from anybody about JT-

Song: "Lovestoned"
Artist: My boyfriend
Best for: lifting or in gym exercise- Very upbeat song, but the beat would either make you run ridic fast or go at a walking pace. Maybe some post run crunches? Eh eh?

I have few guilty pleasures, but JT? Anyone who can successfully rise from the ashes of the boyband era has reclaimed his dignity. "Love-stoned" is just a sexy, groovy song. You may raise a moral eyebrow at some of my song choices- but I see nothing wrong with keeping these songs between my earphones and mah brain. I solemnly promise I am not singing expletives/crude things at passerby's.


Love Always,
Gnarleigh

I had forgotten to give this post a name.

WARNING- I'm taking a large part of my blog to write in actual paragraph form. If you are like me and hate reading, just go ahead and skip down to the letters. I'd be a hypocrite if I expected you to read through all of my ramblings, because I probably wouldn't take the time for yours either :/ So anyways....

This past Friday night I stayed home- I made up for it by going to Heroes on Saturday with one of my best friends Kate, so I'm not completely lame, but every once in a while a friday night at home is what you need. I watched two episodes of What Not to Wear and rented 500 Days of Summer. WN2W always makes me wish that I had a crap wardrobe and could be on the show- They made over this crazy glitter obsessed vegan and made her look absolutely gooorgeous. Made this vegetarian want to take the full leap to vegan. Then, they made over a biker lesbian from Boston- Now this didn't make me want to be a biker, or go lesbian for that matter, but it was still a cool episode- people really get a self esteem boost from being on that show and it's cool to watch.

Now as for 500 Days of Summer I want to make it very clear- This is a great movie. I've only seen it once, and just on friday so it really hasn't had a chance to sit and mull in my head, but here's why:

1. If you keep up with my twitters you might have seen that I said that watching this movie is like looking in a mirror. I didn't mean that I look like Zoe Deschanel (I wish), but the way in which her character treats guys was a bit of a reality check. Girls very often believe they are the victims of relationships gone sour but thats not true. There are many women out there who reap the benefits of a relationship with a guy that still say, "We are just friends". This movie gives total grounds for the He-Man Woman Haters club.

2. (Spoiler)- I love the fact that they don't end up together. Love it. The ending was a perfect balance of reality an optimism. Yes, love exists- but it might just not exist with the person you currently want it to exist with. Don't fret- Just let your feelings cycle out and one day you'll know when its right.

I know that was a long intro, but that was a very important part of my week- Makes me think I should get all my golden nuggets from being a lazy ass and sitting on the couch on Friday night.



On with business as Usual- These letters are from the week of March 1st- March 7

Dear Victor Peterson- I kept it pretty short, just for you!

Dear Monday- Lane Willhite proposes that your name be changed to "Mehday" instead, given it depicts your eminent dreariness regardless of weather conditions.

Dear White House Black Market- I love your clothes, and enjoy shopping at your store, but your new campaign "In the pink" makes me feel like I'm shopping for something a little more... Inappropriate :/

Dear Roller Backpack Lady on her phone- YOUR WELCOME FOR HOLDING THE DOOR FOR YOU.

Dear Entrance to Jardine- I always wince my eyes in anticipation of your door slamming shut, but it was fixed today! Woo!

Dear Business Week- I love you because I get to watch a bunch of grown business men get together and chim chum, and then I get to watch them make fools of themselves by raising the roof during their presentations.

Dear College Students- sometime I wonder if you are aware that having a healthy liver is a privilege, and not a right. Wasted Wednesdays are one of those things that will get that privilege revoked....

Dear Twitter- I apologize to any of my followers who are tired of my non stop tweeting. I've given myself a paper cut on my finger so as to calm it down a bit.

Dear Anjana- Thank you for pointing out that whether you are having sex with randos or watching porn on the internet, no matter what- you are going to get a virus. And Die.

PS- It's not Anjana that learned this lesson personally- she learns vicariously through the mistakes of others.

Dear Wichita Court- I know, I know, you WANT me, but I can't be in court for my diversion at 8:00 and then report for my subpoena at 8:30 for my stolen purse. MMKAY?

Dear England- I'm not above using the one friend that lives over there to buy me some Crispy M&Ms. I still haven't figured out why they discontinued them here in the states.

Dear Mark Simmons of Radio KS- Did we forget what "Mr." Shostakovich's first name was? C'mon... Cooooooome on... Dah- mee- treee.... Dmitri.

Dear Graham Hatch- You don't know me, but it's always disapointing to find out that someone you thought was attractive is Mormon, Married and his wife is with child. Makes me think of that Alanis Morisette song... Isn't it Ironic? Creeper moment, over- Blog out.

Loves Always,
Gnarleigh

What happened, February?

So February is over? This whole 28 days thing really threw me off. I had a couple of assignments due on March 1st (today) that I thought I had a few days left to work on. WRONG. Last week I missed a lotta class, which you would think would lead to excellent adventures and blogging- again, WRONG. I have discovered that the best way to have a good week is to actually accomplish what you are supposed to accomplish, and enjoy yourself afterwards with that "accomplishment high" that is oh so exhilarating. Otherwise your enjoyment will just be tainted with that guilt that you really need to be doing something else, and you are just gonna suffer for it later.

In conclusion, I want to apologize for my lack of letters this week- maybe you will find it a nice break. At the rate I was going, My blog posts were going to be like Harry Potter books- enjoyable, but ridiculously long. Next week will be awesome. I PROMISE.

These Letters are from Sunday, Feb 21 to Sunday Feb 28


Dear Bow- Wish you would've stayed in my hand the entire concert. Way to FAIL.

Dear Flashmob- you guys got balls. Way to randomly get up and dance in front of everyone!



Dear Hu Hot Radio Ad- Did you just say "Hugh Hot"?

Dear Andy Hilton- HAHAHAHAHA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GSfq07vNtw

Dear Tuesday- I got nothin.

Dear Monday Wednesday classes- I hope you missed me this week....

Dear Dad- Sorry for being such a "hater". Where do you think I get it from?

Dear Student Activities Council- Bingo? I'm not 60. Oh but I do have G-60!

Dear Jared Parson- I know you don't really hate me for dragging your butt out of bed. You got donuts. And Sunshine.

Dear Winter Olympic Spectators- Getting so rowdy that they moved last call up from 11 pm to 7 pm!? Tsk Tsk. Glad they let you off on good behavior and moved it back.

Dear Jay Leno- So I hear your guests next week when you return to your old spot will be Jamie Foxx, Sarah Palin, and the Jersey Shore cast... I could care less about Foxx, but if you could arrange it to where Palin and the Guidos/Guidettes are on the same show that would be fantastic...

Dear Exercise- I'm sorry but there are too many exercises that could be mistaken for Sexual positions. Like that guy doing crunches over there? He looks like a Chihuahua humping air.

Dear Symphony Patrons- Do I have to earn some sort of street cred with you? You look at me like I'm 13 when you come into the office.

Dear Kate- Yeah I'm a flirt. Glad that makes you giggle :P

Dear Hair Dresser- Yeah I know my hair kicks ass. These hands that fix my luscious locks are gold.

Dear Buck Teef: You make it really difficult to drink red wine properly

Dear Jonathan- I like your romance advice- "Girls wouldn't flirt with you if they weren't diggin' your chili".


Love Always,
Gnarleigh